


I'm in Distress, I Can Handle It

by Mystery_Lady



Series: Bichie AUs [7]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Bill And Richie Can't Stop Bitching At Each Other, Bill Insists That He Didn't Need To Be Rescued, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Explicit Language, Kidnapped!Bill, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Pre-Slash, Richie And The Rest Of The Losers Saved Bill A Few Minutes Prior, Sexual Tension, The Losers Are Done With Them, drabble?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 20:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17270741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystery_Lady/pseuds/Mystery_Lady
Summary: “You know, most people would say thank you when someone saves their asses.” Richie quips airily, idly twirling his gun in his fingers before strapping it on his gun holster.“I wuh-would if I was a-actually in t-t-trouble!” Bill hisses, dusting off his clothes.“Ah, so being tied up, thrown on the floor, and threatened by an amateur, wannabe villain henchman who didn’t know that his gun had the safety lock on, is your bedroom kink? Huh. And I thought you rich folks were pretty vanilla.”Bill glares at Richie, “Oh s-s-shut the hell up! I was duh-doing just fuh-fine!”OrAn AU where the Losers have to rescue Bill from a group of wannabe thugs. Bill refuses to be consider as a "damsel in distress" and that he had the situation under control.





	I'm in Distress, I Can Handle It

**Author's Note:**

> This was a gift for one of my best friend who wanted who wanted Cowboy!Richie and “Damsel” in Distressed!Bill who is not happy about being kidnapped and refuses to be anyone’s damsel in distress. 
> 
> Bill: I’m nuh-not a d-damsel. I am in distress; I guh-got this s-s-shit handled!

 

* * *

 

“You know, most people would say thank you when someone saves their asses.” Richie quips airily, idly twirling his gun in his fingers before strapping it on his gun holster.

“I wuh-would if I was a-actually in t-t-trouble!” Bill hisses, dusting off his clothes.

“Ah, so being tied up, thrown on the floor, and threatened by an amateur, wannabe villain henchman who didn’t know that his gun had the safety lock on, is your bedroom kink? Huh. And I thought you rich folks were pretty vanilla.”

Bill glares at Richie, “Oh s-s-shut the hell up! I was duh-doing just fuh-fine!”

“Yes, because being face down with the guy on top of you completely screams that you got your shit handled.” Richie says drily.

“I was w-waiting for h-him to let his guh-guard down!”

Richie rolls his eyes, “You rich, fancy folks make no sense.”

“S-says the cuh-cowboy hat wearing, gun s-s-swinging n-n-neanderthal that could be huh-heard from muh-miles away!”

“Hey! That’s Mr. Neanderthal to you!”

“H-how many w-women do you bed with t-that title?”

“Well my dear Billiam,” Richie sneers, “If you really want to know, I - ”

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Just get a room and fuck already!” Beverly snaps impatiently.

“Stay out of this Marsh!” Richie barks while Bill stares at Beverly unamusedly.

“Look, while we’re all entertained by your little cock fight,” Stan drawls, “We need to get out of here before the other men appear.”

“And get out of this hot sun.” Eddie adds.

“Fine, fine, heard you loud and clear. But there’s one problem.”

“And what’s that?” Ben asks with worry.

“Who’s he riding with.” Richie points back at Bill with his thumb.

“Easy. He’s riding with you.” Beverly states with a saccharine smile.

“What?!” Both Bill and Richie exclaims.

“I’m not letting him ride with me because I’m uncomfortable with a male stranger sitting behind me.” Beverly admits begrudgingly.

“That’s understandable.” Bill reassures.

“Ben is riding with me since Rosie is being checked over.” Mike reminds them.

“Bobbie acts all weird around strangers.” Eddie says with a helpless shrug, stroking his horse’s neck.

“I don’t share.” Stan says bluntly before frowning at his own response. “I don’t like sharing my personal space when I’m up here with my horse.” he explains uneasily.

Bill nods in understanding, a hint of resignation on his face.

“So that concludes that he has to ride with you.” Beverly finishes.

“Ugh, fine! Let’s go then Billiam.”

“W-would you sss-stop calling me t-that!” Bill snips but follows after Richie, standing in front of a white stallion.

Climbing on his horse - who was affectionately called Storm - Richie looks down at Bill, “Do you know how to get up on a horse?” he asks in a somewhat mocking tone.

Rolling his eyes, Bill doesn’t answer and instead climbs up and sits behind Richie.

“Well, what do you know; you actually do more than sit around and look pretty.”

Pushing back the urge to either push or punch him, Bill says through gritted teeth, “I fuh-feel s-s-sorry for the woman you b-bed with; you puh-probably couldn’t give h-her a proper orgasm w-with the way you can’t kuh-keep your mouth s-s-shut!”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Richie exclaims, “One of my many talents is that I’m able to fuck and talk dirty to my partners. And I never heard any complaints!”

In the background, they could hear Eddie making gagging noises while both Stan and Beverly sigh in irritation. Mike and Ben were quietly whispering to each other.

“They probably s-s-said that so they wouldn’t h-h-hurt your p-pride.”

“Don’t make me push you off my horse!”

“You w-w-wouldn’t get the money my parents huh-had probably puh-promised if I cuh-came back with a broken arm.”

Richie growls, pulling unusually hard at the reins, motioning his horse to go forward. He’ll make it up to Storm later with an apology and an apple once they reach a safe place for them to stay.

Without any further catty replies, the small band of cowboys begin their trek to the nearest town…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read. Kudos and Comments are always appreciated. ^_^


End file.
